


Dates and Daggers

by Sternenstaub



Series: Witcher Gals AU [1]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Falling In Love, First Date, Most witchers are afab, The language is the only reason for the M rating, copious amounts of cursing, female Lambert, they're lesbians your honour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28189527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sternenstaub/pseuds/Sternenstaub
Summary: Lamberta sees a beautiful woman at the keep who knows her way around poisons and can keep up with her foul mouth. She decides to woo this person.
Relationships: Lambert/Keira Metz
Series: Witcher Gals AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164002
Comments: 20
Kudos: 17
Collections: The Witcher Quick Fic #02





	Dates and Daggers

**Author's Note:**

> Small note regarding the names. I this universe witchers are predominantly afab, so some names are different.  
> Vesemir and Eskel are called the same.  
> Lambert is Lamberta and Geralt is mostly called Gwynn from Gwynnbleidd.

"Oh you stupid fucking fucker, stop moving and stay dead!" Lamberta cursed as she was trying to haul in the fish on her fishing rod. There really was a reason she usually preferred to just throw a bomb into the lake and call it a day. But today she wanted to stay inconspicuous, this was supposed to be a surprise after all. 

After the fish was gutted and cleaned, she looked around. 

Quiet lake. Check. Even with small flowers blooming at the edges.

Blanket and food. Check. No table but she had acquired a few pillows that would hopefully suffice.

Wine. Check, well okay, maybe it was something a bit stronger and homebrewed but it was close enough. Good wine was hard to come by up on a mountain.

Perfect, everything Eskel´s books had told her a date should have was there. Well almost everything, the date herself was still missing.

With her heart bleating faster than she would have liked it to, Lamberta waited. She still remembered when she came home two weeks ago, quite early too but the path had been a whole shit show all year and she had decided she'd much rather get ordered around by Vesemir and climb walls to repair them than stay one day longer between humans. Fucking assholes, all of them.

Her last job had been a griffin, who had of course not been alone. And then this stupid fucking boy, barely 15 had decided he was stronger than a witcher, witchers were girls and everybody knew boys were stronger after all, and followed her to it's lair. Of course the stupid boy had been attacked and almost gotten eaten and the villagers blamed Lamberta for it, thought she had taken him as bait. Which, okay, she had used him as a distraction but she had not told him to follow her and make a racket, that had been all on him. 

Instead of listening to anything she could have said, they threw her out of town, the bag with her coin almost hitting her head. At least they paid, she had thought and wondered whoever had raised this stupid boy. Which absolute moron believed witchers were weak because they were women? Witchers had been predominantly female for centuries. Contrary to what that boy believed, a thing everyone really knew and not just some back water Idiot who's father had been fucking the goat more than his mother, was that girls could survive the trials at a much higher rate than boys, their bodies handled pain just better. Sometimes Lamberta resented them for ever finding out about it, else she could have led a normal life. After killing her father and running away, at least. She had already hidden the dagger under her pillow when a witcher came along and her father sold her to the order of the wolves in exchange for the witcher solving their monster problem. 

At first Lamberta had thought her new life could only be an improvement but soon she'd learned that no matter where she was, no one ever gave her a choice what she wanted to do with her life. She either had to follow the plans of other people or would suffer the consequences.

Lamberta shook her head, there was no reason to wallow in self pity when a sorceress was waiting to be wooed. Because that was what she was choosing right now. When she came home instead of a grizzled old woman scowling at her for being early and abandoning the path a beautiful blond sorceress had been sitting in the courtyard on a chair, ignoring her arrival fully, basking in the last warm rays the sun would offer this year.

Lamberta had squinted at her suspiciously but Vesemir had fully ignored her before she scolded her pup, apparently she had a right to stay and do nothing. Lamberta was quite envious of that second part of her apparent deal with the older witcher.  
That evening the woman didn't join them. Vesemir explained she was a sorceress, one of the white wolf´s, one of Gwynn's friends, and the way she said "friend" pointed to a much more intimate connection, and preferred to stay on her own. Apparently she was unhappy about their living conditions and refused to sit down in a kitchen with a crumbling ceiling. Lamberta looked up at that and saw a rather big crack in the mortar. With a scowl she put that part of the keep on her never ending list of things to repair.

The next morning the sorceress, whose name Lamberta had either never gotten or already forgotten again, was working in the garden, tending to a few herbs Vesemir planted for their potions. She stood right next to the wall that needed repairs the most. Lamberta approached with a heavy bucket full of mortar, wearing old ratty clothes that barely kept the wind away but would not suffer any additional damage should the bucket fall on her again. Not that that had ever happened, no fucking way, she wasn't that clumsy, Gwynn had tripped her that one time.

"Wouldn't touch those without gloves." Lamberta scoffed at the dainty woman, "Can fucking hurt your pretty skin."  
The sorceress looked up at her with sharp eyes and Lamberta felt like her heart stopped for a moment. "Well, thank you dear, no fucking way would I have ever known that. It's not like I have studied plants for decades, have magic and can protect my hands." she wiggled with her fingers that were surrounded with a golden shimmer, almost looking like quen. Lamberta barely noticed it, her brain had gone fully down the gutter at the thought of magic fingers and those sharp hazel eyes pinning her down like she was nothing more than an annoyance. There was fire behind those eyes and pain, a hatred towards the world, Lamberta could understand very well.

"If you want to poison someone, I'd suggest you take those instead." Lamberta nooded to a fairly unremarkable plant a few steps away that was highly toxic to pretty much everything, they used it for sword oils usually.  
"Do I have to repeat myself? I fucking know what I'm doing here." Those sharp hazel eyes met hers again and the witcher felt her knees go weak.  
"Next you'll start explaining to me how basic alchemy works. Not that you have the proper equipment for anything more than potions and oils here." she scoffed. 

"Actually, we do. If you want a laboratory you'll have to pay for it though." 

The sorceress squinted up at Lamberta. "Pay with what?

"With your knowledge. I get a new poison recipe for every potion you brew." 

Lamberta offered her hand and after a moment the sorceress shook it. 

"Deal." The smile on the sorceress face would probably have sent weaker men running, but Lamberta was no man and also not weak, so she grinned at her new companion in crime.

While the witcher had repaired the walls, she had thought back to their interaction, she still didn't know the sorceresses name but it had been nice to talk to a beautiful women who did not stare at her scars, who didn't gasp at her slitted eyes or asked if she was sad she couldn't bear children. She was fucking not and snarled at anyone who tried to console her and said they understood her way to deal with that particular pain.  
No, the woman had been nice and menacing, had cursed like a sailor and not flinched a bit when Lamberta asked for poison recipes. Maybe coming home early had been a good idea after all.

That evening Lamberta also didn't eat in the dining hall, instead she hunted down the sorceress, not very hard in a keep with barely ten inhabitable rooms, and told her to follow. The witcher refused to think why she had seen it necessary to bathe and put on nicer clothes before she had started looking for the witch.

On their way down an old stairwell, many steps broken and beyond repair Lamberta had to catch the blond woman after she tripped. With strong arms and out of pure reflex she pulled her close to the chest. Hazel eyes looked up at her and a snarl was on the sorceress´ face, "I don't need to be rescued." she said and pushed herself away, because she couldn't have moved Lamberta without magic if she had tried.

"As you wish, my lady, the next step I'll just let you fall and break your neck." Lamberta mock bowed in front of her.

"Keira. My name is Keira. And I can take care of myself."

Lamberta looked up at her again and saw a vulnerability in her eyes she had not expected, but maybe it was the light playing tricks on her.  
"As you wish, Keira. My name is Lamberta and this," she gestured to a door close to them, half hidden in the middle of the stairs, "is my secret lab." Lamberta winked at the witch and entered the room. It was warm and the smell alone could make grown men drunk. Keira coughed once when she entered but after a murmured spell she looked perfectly unfazed again. Her eyes widened when she saw all the equipment Lamberta had painstakingly gathered over the years, this was where she brewed alcohol, not only for potions but also tried to recreate some of the nicer brews she´d encountered on her path. "Perfect." Keira whispered and watched the lab hungrily.

Over the next few days Keira and Lamberta would often brew together, the witcher showed her how to make whiskey that didn't burn through the table and Keira showed her how to brew a sleeping drought and also one that'd make people's skin itch for days. Lamberta cackled loudly at that and planned happily how to put that into Gwynn and Eskel's beds once they returned.

Keira was delightful to be around. She cursed and got drunk and she could complain all day. One memorable night Lamberta took her up on the battlements with some of their strongest brews and they watched the valley and the keep in the moonlight. Keira complained loudly about the mud and dirt, the coldness and how much she hated being at the ass end of nowhere just because some idiot king had gotten it in his head to behead mages. Lamberta shouted loudly her displeasure at ungrateful humans and stupid men thinking the genitals you were born with made you weak, at people thinking having children was all anyone could ever want and that witchers were just abominations of nature. They both shouted at the many queens and princesses, who ruled alone, without men at their side, but had never deigned to look at the lower people, had never given women more rights.

"FUCK NOBLES!" Lamberta screamed down the battlements into the night and Keira stood next to her, "FUCK FOLTEST!" she added and they both stood there, panting heavily while sharing the last bit of their flask.  
In that moment Lamberta had been fully sure she wanted to get closer to Keira.

The next morning she started to plan how one witcher with barely a penny and nothing but mortar and alcohol at her disposal could woo a sorceress who was used to fineries and luxury. She stole one of Eskel's books and read up on romance and courting customs. Most of the things made her gag but one thing seemed reasonable, a romantic picnic at a lake. It wasn't too cold to stay outside for an hour or two yet and it might even be nice to spend some quiet time together. 

And this was where she was now. After a quick dip into the lake Lamberta took the one dress she owned, it was a bit frilly and flowy but the book had said to look your best and it did make her look less intimidating and pulled the gaze to her rack. There should be no mistaking what she wanted was more than a nice chat. 

She had left a note for Keira in the lab, sure the sorceress would find it and be intrigued enough to follow its directions. That didn't mean she wasn't also nervous and convinced that Keira wouldn't want this. The longer she waited, the more she was sure nobody would come. Who would want to spend their day with a scarred, foul mouthed witcher? Lamberta barely wanted to spend time with herself, how could she even hope anybody else wanted that? 

The witcher worried with a few flowers in her hands, plucking them apart to tiny pieces when she could hear someone approach. Not the footsteps of Vesemir, those were softer and harder to hear, no, these footsteps were a bit unsure on the uneven ground and the person cursed at every root she stumbled over. Lamberta felt a small smile play on her lips and swallowed the tiny bubble of happiness trying to rise in her chest with a resolute breath. Hope would only end up in disappointment.

Around the corner Keira stumbled, quite literally, into the little clearing. "Really, if this isn't worth my time, I'm going to curse you into a frog and throw you into that lake right there." Keira stopped speaking when she saw Lamberta in a dress, sitting on a blanket with food right next to her, flower petals surrounded her, not of her volition but more because she'd torn a few apart in her nervousness.  
The witcher for her part stared at the vision in front of her before she could gather her thoughts. Keira wore the same dress as she had this morning and her hair was bound back, she had some soot on her cheek and looked a bit worse for wear all over but at the same time the sunlight highlighted her blond hair and her hazel eyes watched the world with an intensity as if she wanted to claim everything for herself. Lamberta almost forgot to breathe at the sight until she remembered the words.

"It's stupid, you mentioned you missed good food and company, and I can't really offer you either here but I thought pretending you had it might still be nice?" Her heart was jumping out of her throat and she hated it, "Fuck, forget it, I'll just go." Keira grabbed her dress as the witcher tried to storm past her, "Don't you dare and run now." the sorceress whispered. Intense hazel eyes met golden ones and Lamberta stopped, entirely caught in that gaze.

Keira led them both to the blanket and after a glass of the unnamed brew they had created the witcher started to relax. They talked and joked, just like they did at the keep but there was an undercurrent, something electrical between them, that set Lamberta´s skin on fire.  
After a while the witcher decided it had been enough waiting and dancing around each other. She scooted closer and took Keira´s hand in hers.  
They glanced at each other but didn't say a word when Keira inched closer as well. Before Lamberta fully realized what she was doing, her mouth met soft lips, Keira tasted like wine and fish and something herbal. She moaned into the kiss and both women melted into each other.

Keira out her hand in Lamberta's hair and caressed her scalp. Encouraged the witcher pulled the sorceress closer, her hands encircling a thin but strong waist. Keira gasped when Lamberta nibbled at her neck and arched into the contract with a gasp, and she decided to find many more spots to elicit such lovely sounds. 

They had kissed for some time and watched the sun set when something stirred in the water. The witcher groaned and Keira laughed, "Did you really set up a picnic next to a monster spot?"

"I thought they'd been dealt with already." Lamberta wanted to hide her face in Keira´s neck and pretend there were no monsters but of course she couldn't. Especially not when a water hag emerged and threw mud at her dress. She didn't even like wearing it but fuck her, and not in the way she hoped she would get to be fucked later tonight, if she didn't show that stupid fucking monster a witcher was not to be played with, especially not a witcher on a date in a dress.

Her dress dripped with mud and water and Lamberta procured a dagger from it, even though it had no pockets, Keira didn't ask where it came from but the glint in her eyes definitely told her she appreciated the sight . With renewed vigor, this was something she was good at and if her companion enjoyed the show, all for the better, a sorceress definitely wasn't in any danger because a water hag threw some mud around, Lamberta jumped into the shallow parts of the lake, dagger raised high. Her dress billowed around her until it got soaked and she could see a few flower petals swirling around before she started to stab the hag who had so rudely interrupted her make out session.

Keira expected her at the blanket once the hag had been dealt with, the witcher cleaned her dagger with the hem of her dress, it really was done for, when the sorceress reached out for her and pulled her into her arms. 

"My hero." Keira whispered jokingly into her neck and Lamberta shuddered.

"Oh, shut up." she muttered but pressed into the contact, enjoying the body warmth and care she could feel.  
The sorceress murmured something and a warm wind dried their clothes. Soft lips met her own and Keira whispered between tiny kisses to her lips and neck that made Lamberta melt, "Let's go back, I think the lab isn't the only room you frequent you haven't shown me yet." Lamberta nodded eagerly and they stumbled back to the keep, ripping clothes apart halfway through, pushing each other against trees to kiss and nibble while the darkness slowly hid them from any prying eyes.  
This night would be full of choices and Lamberta knew she wouldn't resent even one of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Now with art! Bro drew Lamberta! https://broskier.tumblr.com/post/638603770275807232/lambertaaaaaaaa-inspired-by-the-lovely-fic


End file.
